So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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