I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
