Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
