just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize