i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
