why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
