OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
