Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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