We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
