I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
why didn't you poke me back
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize