I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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