I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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