I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
