It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
