So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
