well you can't waste a boner
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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