I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
