New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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