ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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