the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
