Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
