We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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