found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
