dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
