They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
