what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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