I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
