When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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