Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
