READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
