It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
