I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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