Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
