is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
