I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
