I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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