3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize