I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
