You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
