i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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