its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
