Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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