I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize