If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
