Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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