She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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