I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
