dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
