I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
