dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
