she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
