Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
