Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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