Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
