When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
apparently the secret to your success is patron
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
