so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
