You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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