love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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