If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
