Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
