What did we do last night that was yellow?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
