You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
