just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Boobs are out for the taking
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
