ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
