She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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