don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
