I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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