i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
