let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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